Wednesday, 21 March 2012

Sunshine and a little rain


Hey Sunshine!
It's been long since anyone had called me by that name...I still turn to that...involuntarily...and always want to see him there...just him...just the way he was when we broke off...standing exactly there...wearing the exact same colour of clothes...that half smile and that rainbow in his misty eyes.

Well...it wasn't all the same...but it was him and so I wasn't complaining...he just came around and hugged me...ya...right there...in front of all those stupid on lookers...my feet were dangling a feet above the ground...did I forget how tall he was...and he would always need me at his height...so he would lift me up from ground...twirl me around like I am still a 16 year old girl and make me feel like being in love for the first time...all over again.

And in love I was...had always been...I don't know how to get over people...move on...blah blah...I haven't given a damn...ever. So there I was basking in a warm sunlit cafe as only Bangalore can have and smiling at him like I had just won a lottery or something...he used to call me sunshine...but in reality...he was my sunshine...the warmth that engulfed my heart every-time I thought of him and all the smiles we shared. All that laughter and chasing around and playing bompasting and god knows what...he was my best friend...boyfriend...agony aunt...mentor...jukebox...captain...poetry-listener all rolled into one. God, how I loved him!

To bump into him on the busy streets of Bangalore...well that was something...and to hear him calling not my real name but a name he used to call me long ago...that was something too...and me still turning back at that name...gosh! that really is too much to take in...my head is still reeling at the effect...and his hug still lingers with the same fragrance in my memories...pine and cedar and open mountain crisp air. The only thing that has changed over the years is...I have learned to let go...so this time when he said goodbye...I smiled...and waved him goodbye and said a quiet prayer in my heart for his happiness...and for sunshine...and for myself...as I thanked god for being able to love someone so deeply and being loved equally in return.

And I am still stuck at this quote from the movie...2046...
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That day, six years ago, a rainbow appeared in my heart. It's still there, like a flame burning inside me. But what are your real feelings for me? Are they like a rainbow after the rain? Or did that rainbow fade away long ago?...
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Will I ever stop loving you?

4 comments:

अनुपमा पाठक said...

Love never fades away... it is just that time shifts its locations and it delves deep into the soul...
and once it is one with the soul, it cannot fade away... it lies intact, anew and afresh like morning sunshine!!!

Sunshine is peeping in through the window and I am feeling myself blessed reading here about sunshine:)

vish thakur said...

i just love your writting wooow keeep going !

Carole said...

Very nice post. Since words are your thing, you might be interested in a series of posts I have been doing on the word play involved in cryptic crosswords. The first one is: http://caroleschatter.blogspot.co.nz/2012/01/cryptic-crosswords-solving-hints-1.html
It has now evolved into a daily series. I find it great fun - much better than ordinary crosswords.

the shy girl said...

seriously you are very good at writing... wish i could write like u ... anyways... keep writing :)