A tale of no moon, honey!

This all starts with marriage that drags in the prospect of honeymoon. Ours not being a conventional marriage (yea yea....we eloped!) I had pinned all my hopes and dreams on having a conventional honeymoon. All the movies I had watched had the happy couple riding away in a car displaying 'just married'. And my parents had gone to Kashmir for their honeymoon.

It's not that we haven't tried...the stupid internet had made me dream of places as far and exotic as Seychelles to nearby Darjeeling. We have been to all the beautiful places in and around the world without spending a paisa...coz it doesn't pay to take a virtual tour, does it? Now I have knowledge on virtually every beautiful place on earth to go on a romantic tour, right from which airlines to take what offers to get your plans bang on! I think opening a travel agency of my own shouldn't be much of a problem.

Only I have a better plan in mind, a counselling for the no-honemooner's gang. These are normal girls/women like me who had dreams of flaunting their ever so perfect figure for once in their life in two piece(Gasp! and Sigh!) swimsuits...these women who now work-out vigorously only to be a lesser hazard on sight if ever they have to do the ghastly task of fitting in a swimsuit...if buoyancy(that depends on volume) will be enough to keep them afloat if they ever were to set an actual foot on the island paradise, the likes of Hawaii or the Maldives. Divas(dibbas!), you are not alone.

So at the risk of bringing a revolution of sorts, let me pronounce today that men, and husbands by far are the most insensitive, lazy, workaholic bummers ever created by God...Oh, what was she thinking! If only the one guy you end up marrying was a little more caring towards you he would book a presidential suite no less, on completion of three non holidaying, completely sedentary years down the aisle. And don't frown, there are some angels sprinkled around the earth who takes their wives to Switzerland...and on weekend getaways.

Sigh! And inhale deeply now, the world is not going to come down crashing if you don't go on a vacation. Think of doing some tapasya to make your hubby be born with Brad Pitt's body and Hugh Jackman's sensitivity because anyway you are most probably stuck with him for some seven more rebirths. For this birth try giving him an ultimatum that the only way to keep you in any shape that's other than round, you have to have a beach holiday at least once an year. How else do you think you can motivate yourself to lose weight if you are going to be perennially hidden under layers of sari or salwar kurta!

Enough of gyan for now...I guess I should now get up and grab a big slab of chocolate. I am no-where near to any beach for this year that's coming to close.

PS: Men, you were not supposed to read this post, if you have still come this far despite the warning, this has been written intentionally to hurt those husbands that haven't taken their respective wives for honeymoon. You have any excuses...jot them in the comments form.